Confessions of a Bookaholic And Why Non-Readers Will Never Understand

Time for a moment of truth–I’ve had an addiction to books for pretty much my entire life. It started as an addiction to reading books, and now has twisted into an obsession with writing them. Either way, the written word is in my blood. It’s my life. My nearly every waking thought revolves around books I’ve read or books I’ve written or want to write. It’s impossible to shake and honestly, who’d want to? It’s freaking awesome!

But when I come across people that just…aren’t bookish, they seem flabbergasted that I actually enjoy reading. The idea of consuming an entire book in eight uninterrupted hours just doesn’t compute with them. Maybe they need something more visual, I suppose. Though what can be more visual than utilizing the full extent of your imagination and losing yourself in a story? Nothing, I say! And this is why the non-bookworms stare at me in wonderment and declare, “NERD!” Why yes, I am a nerd. And super proud of it.

Here’s my book confessions and why these not-so-nerds will just never, ever understand the beauty that is the greatest achievement of mankind–the book.

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I Get Literal Goosebumps Of Excitement When Settling In For A Nice, Long Reading Session

1

There’s no better feeling than shutting out the world and curling up with a good book. This is why I’m not thrilled with eReaders that can still connect to Facebook and eMail…I so prefer holding the real deal in my hands. Then there’s no distractions, no option to check out anything other than the words on the page. And that, my friends, is the perfect remedy to any bad day. Just tune out life and escape into someone else’s adventure for awhile.

If You Try And Talk To Me While I’m Reading, Don’t Be Offended If I Completely Tune You Out

2

If you ask again a little louder or tap me on the shoulder, I may acknowledge you. But expect to be given the stink eye because you probably just interrupted a VERY intense scene and I am NOT happy. Just fair warning, it’s probably best to leave me alone. Or else get this reader’s fiery wrath.

After A Long Day Of Reading and/or Writing, I Need Major Recovery Time

5

It’s a feeling of mental exhaustion that sets in and simmers for awhile, making all other tasks seem too difficult to manage. Cook dinner? Go grocery shopping? Excuse me, but no. Not now. Maybe not ever. I need to lie here for awhile and recharge my brain. It’s chock full of words and my imagination has been on overdrive for the last gazillion hours. Talk to me in five days when I emerge from this literary fog and rejoin the world again.

When A New Release In A Beloved Series Comes Out, Expect Me To Get Ravenous And A Little Out Of Control

4

Midnight release parties and standing in line for hours at the bookstore are just part of the game. With the advent of internet shopping, this has streamlined things a bit but the pumped-up anxiety, jittery impatience, and morbid fear that the book will sell out are all still there. So just step back and let me get my book, okay? And don’t yell at me if I crack it open and start reading the instant I leave the counter. Or if I’m struggling desperately to hold onto my composure, you may see me clutching the book to my chest feverishly like the treasured gift it is, almost too afraid to open it because all the non-readers nearby will probably see me burst into emotional tears of joy. But when I get home there’s no holding back. It’s just a reader thing, you see.

I’ve Been Known To Throw A Book Across The Room If My Favorite Character Dies

6

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN. NO. IT MUST BE A DREAM SEQUENCE. OR MAYBE THEY’LL COME BACK AND SAY, “HA HA, I’M OKAY, APRIL FOOL’S!” But the sad truth is, they rarely ever do. *sobs* Instead, I get to the horrific realization that they’re gone for good and there’s no bringing them back and just how can the book go on from this point?? I just can’t. Life is over. The world sucks. *slinks back over to retrieve life-shattering book and continue reading with tears in my eyes*

By the way, the above image is totally symbolic. Some of you may get it. You non-reader-muggles probably won’t 😉

I Become The World’s Toughest Know-It-All Critic When A Book I Love Is Made Into A Movie

8

Excuse me, but that’s totally not how it happened in the book! *glances around to see if anyone else is as appalled as I am* Fine. But I must voice my opinion to the poor person sitting beside me because I just can NOT contain my outrage. Even if the movie itself is fairly enjoyable, nitpicking all the little differences between it and the book will be my mission for the next several hours, maybe even days. Books are pretty much always better than their movie counterparts, but I will still go see the movie, anyway. What kind of fan would I be if I didn’t?

Meeting Someone New And Discovering A Shared Love For a Particular Book Means Instant Friendship

7

You mean you’re part of the *insert series name here* fandom too?? Let the inside jokes and emotional sharing of favorite moments/characters/scenes commence! If there are other people around who have no idea what’s going on, they pretty much no longer exist. It’s just me and my new book buddy. And don’t bother trying to cut in and change the topic, we’ll just go right back to talking about books and drown you out. You can’t win when book nerds get into a deep, frenzied discussion. You just can’t.

The Opposite Is True When Meeting a Non-Reader

10

Wait, what? You haven’t read a book since your English teacher made you read The Great Gatsby? WHY NOT? Don’t you know what you’re missing? They don’t, by the way. And you’ll never convince them to change their ways. People who don’t find the fun in reading just never will. Instead they prefer mindlessly watching television or pinning pretty pictures on Pinterest. It’s enough to break this author’s heart 😦

When I Close A Book After Reading The Last Line I Just…Die A Little Inside

11

It’s over? This roller coaster of emotion that I’ve been on for what seems like forever is now done? I don’t even know what to do with myself now. My life…it’s changed. It’ll never be the same. I’ll never be the same. But it’s only a book, they say. How can it change your life? It just DOES, okay? Just like writing your own book changes you. It becomes part of the fabric of your being and stays there forever and ever. The characters, the moments of heartache and humor and suspense, the happy or tragic ending…they stick with you for life. And it’s simultaneously the most traumatic and magical thing ever.

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3 thoughts on “Confessions of a Bookaholic And Why Non-Readers Will Never Understand

  1. I remember chatting with my friend when he asked if I had read a particular book. Since said book had been out a couple of weeks and I had re-read it perhaps 10 times by then, I took a good, long look at that friend… who has now been my husband of 18 years! So yeah, I can relate!

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